Search

metal stuff

It's stuff, about metal

Tag

Metal Sucks

Rock Radio Stations Across the US Mourn Passing of Chris Cornell in Spontaneous Display of Mediocrity

This is the one time I won’t write an article about metal on this site. Cherish it.

In a mass display of (what I like to refer to as) “the Amy Winehouse Effect”, the internet is collectively pretending they were huge fans of the life and career of Soundgarden/Audioslave front-man Chris Cornell.

And with such deep, thought-provoking songs as “Spoonman”, which I assume is about a man who uses spoons as a musical instrument, how could you not like them?

I’m guessing the number of people who called their favorite radio station and requested their favorite song featuring the late front-man yesterday (while he was still alive) numbers in the high 10’s. Nay, the low 20’s.

Not that this stopped every goddamn clear-channel radio station from playing the same fucking 4 songs featuring this guy 20-some-odd times per day.

And that was while he was alive.

In fact, the only people not pretending their mourning the loss of this singer are the DJ’s for the aforementioned rock stations (who tout their “modern rock” format while never seemingly to play anything written after 2005). That guy is indirectly responsible for approximately 20% of their fucking paychecks over the past 20 years (assuming they get paid to play his songs, which they did/do), so I can see them genuinely being a bit sad.

To these DJ’s I say, “Don’t worry guys, you’re already overplaying his music. You don’t have to change a fucking thing.”

Seriously though, if everyone was as big of a Chris Cornell fan as they’re pretending to be today – his solo album wouldn’t have fucking flopped.

trent-reznor-chris-cornell-twitter-fued-scream-album-2009

On the bright side, people who were bashing Cornell in 2008 are free to pretend they liked him and are going to miss him.

metalsucks cornell

 

Perhaps I have an over-inflated sense of dislike for this man’s career.

Partially because Chris Cornell + Rage Against the Machine = Sadness. Partially because, like all grunge, he is partially responsible for the rise of Nickelback. Partially because he was a large part of the movement that made mediocre apathy “cool”. In large part because I think he was completely overrated.

He wasn’t that talented – he surrounded himself with talented people and made a career out of that and his charisma.

And if you were a real fan of his, you shouldn’t be that surprised he committed suicide. For fucks sake, he’s been singing about depression for like 30 years.

I take no joy in his passing – anytime a human being takes their own life, it’s a sad event. Cornell’s death is no different.

Equally as sad, however, is the strange cult-like movement of people who then immortalize said person, because in so doing they turn that person into something they weren’t before.

Cornell was a flawed human being, born with a slightly better than average set of pipes. The stars aligned for him and he happened to write song lyrics about being depressed at exactly the right time in history.

This combined with the aforementioned tendency to surround himself with talent turned him into a shooting star in the musical landscape.

Suicide Silence are NOT Employing a Failed Marketing Strategy For Their New Album

This is Not an Introduction

Suicide Silence are obviously musical pioneers. As the lead singer so eloquently pointed out in an interview – some people just can’t see the inherent virtuosity of dumbing down your music.

virtuosity

They obviously understand metal fans, and what drives them. It’s not like there was a scientific study that proved metal fans (like classical music fans) are innately attracted to grandiosity and technical prowess in music.

And the majority of metal fans certainly aren’t weirdos. Observations to the contrary have never been the subjects of academic study (by people like Deena Weinstein), or noted by the artists themselves.

wierd-kid

Suicide Silence’s Methods are NOT Transparent and Gimmicky

They’re certainly not using the “Metallica Defense” to justify the musical direction they’re taking on the new album.

And Suicide Silence are totally above playing the elitist card. They’ve obviously gotten some very sound advise from their producer, who is a vital part of the network of metal news we metalheads rely on.

metal-news-cycle

It’s not like Whitechapel tried the exact same thing last year (Elitist bashing on Metal Sucks), or made a video called “The Elitist Ones”. And I’m pretty sure it didn’t backfire spectacularly, giving them their worst album debut since 2008. They certainly didn’t receive less than half the first week sales of their previous album..

How could Suicide Silence fail utilizing a winning recipe like that? Isn’t doing the same exact thing one of your professional peers did last year the definition of pioneering?

The SS crew couldn’t be admitting that deathcore is stagnating. Or that the next step (for deathcore) is it’s inevitable decline. And it’s certainly not 10 years too late for a genre with so much diversity to expand. If it was, it would have progressed to the phase referred to by sociologists as “crystallization”, where a metal genre becomes embedded and rigidly defined. And if that was the case, we’d see a bunch of fucking deathcore clone bands playing the exact same song (exactly like what happened to hair metal).

But that’s not the case, right guys? Like, other metal bands weren’t noticing the crystallization of Deathcore (and praying for it’s inevitable demise) 7 years ago? Right?

Suicide Silence Definitely Knows Who Listens to Their Music. 

Suicide Silence is obviously not commercially inflated faux metal from a genre that predominantly caters to 16 year old girls (that warrants comparisons to nu-metal). So, it’s safe to say the introduction of clean vocals couldn’t possibly have anything to do with pandering to young girls that want to seem edgy, right? It’s about branching out as artists, right?

Diagram displaying Suicide Silence’s Definition of “Death Metal Elitist/General Metal Elitist (Patch Wearing Weirdos)

 

Q: Where can you find Deathcore fans, Death Metal Elitists, and “General Metal Elitists” (Patch wearing wierdos)?

A: The Gathering of the Juggalos, of course.

ss-juggalo

I’ve been wondering where all the deathcore fans, death metal elitists, and patch wearing metal elitist weirdos hang out. Metal Elitists are well known for their love of the Insane Clown Posse. It just goes without saying.

Or maybe Suicide Silence is referring to the ‘elitist ones’ Whitechapel encountered at the Warped Tour. Because that’s another place to find metal elitists of all sorts.

warped-tour

Yeah, that must be it.

Suicide Silence have obviously got marketing to their fans down to an art – nay, a fucking science.

I just wonder what the head of Sumerian Records thinks of all of this? What would he do? What would he say? What did he have for breakfast? What does the inside of his anal pore taste like?

Could he impart some transcendental wisdom on par with these pearls of enlightenment from the mouth/keyboard of Ross Robinson?

ross-robinson

What is the relevance of mentioning the head of a record label known for it’s metalcore and deathcore associations in a Suicide Silence article detailing the inevitable downfall of deathcore? Are producers and record labels counting on controversy to keep their names on the mouths of the general public as a form of life support for a dying genre? What is the meaning of life?

Musical Pioneers

I’m sure Suicide Silence will find innovative new uses for the dotted crotchet on the new album – perhaps in multiple songs. They’ll probably revolutionize deathcore by employing some sort of “down-tuning” (drop A, or something equally as innovative and unique).

I’ve been hearing a buzz about a new musical convention referred to as a “breakdown”, perhaps they will blow our minds by indulging in one or two on the artistic masterpiece coming out later this month. Maybe they’ll really let loose and use gang vocals – how fucking cool would that be?

If your (original) lead singer’s death is the most interesting thing about your band, the sky is the fucking limit.


(Still better than Doris)

Be a Force for Positive Change in the Metal Community!

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑